I continue to type up auto-writing transcripts from that past year. This one seems suiting today, whilst so much divisiveness, so many divided, looking for answers outside of ourselves. How can we reckon with our own thoughts, patterns, trauma?
This Automatic Writing message was written in the Spring of 2020.
Direct Message at Sunrise
My Left Hand Writes:
Empty yourself.
Express it all out.
Emote.
Let yourself be empty and then empty some more.
When the past outweighs the present to fill the mind with non-sense – and it really is no sense since the past is passed – you have to reset.
You have to express, emote & empty of the mind grooves to make space for the now.
Bring present to now is the peace.
The peace is spaciousness.
Peace is presence to know,
now is the only life to be living.
You don’t live in the past
you don’t exist in the future,
you exist only in the present.
The cleansing of the mind grooves is not simple.
Shame and anger and fear require a reckoning.
They require a fearlessness first so you can face them.
Until you rid yourself of the shame and anger and trauma of past,
nothing new can find its way to you in presence.
The mind is cluttered to overflow with joy, as its pretty full with the under-expressed.
The mind can be so filled with the past traumas that joy can’t find a way in.
Your present life may be perfect but you can’t find that perfect because the mind is so filled with trauma and ruminations.
There are many ways to sit and for this clearing of the past.
You must unpack all that you’ve been carrying.
You must accept and forgive or you will never have freedom in presence.
Reckoning may require a wreck.
It may feel like you’re crashing into thick solid walls to destroy yourself,
and for this, you must.
You must break through the delusions you built when you hid away trauma with shame and abuse with anger.
Worthiness.
You are worthy, and you’ve bricked that in as well.
You’ve created a delusion for yourself, walling in the past –
that everything is okee-dokey –
so long as every brick in every wall that holds back the past stays in place.
This is delusion.
There will always be earthquakes of the present that shake something loose so long as you carry and try to retain your fortress of the mind.
You are brave enough.
You are worthy.
You have survived to get here because you are strong,
because the events and people and interactions all have purpose to make you realize your true nature,
to clear you karmas so that you can be free in this existence.
Clear the mind of right & wrong.
Tear down the walls you have built to keep everything in place and let yourself fall apart and let everything be a mess around you and sit.
Sit in the space of the mind as the wall turns to rubble.
Realize there is only one way forward and that is to clean up and clear up the wreckage.
All these things of the past, they must be released – hey pono pono – release – keep releasing, keep clearing up the rubble of a past destroyed until you can find a space for present presence, until you have a space for joy to fill.
Only then will you find peace.
Sit, sit, sit, silently, sit.
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